Why Olivia Munn Was "Devastated" Over Her Reconstructive Breast Surgery

Olivia Munn continues to be honest about the realities of her health journey. 

Since sharing her breast cancer diagnosis publicly in March, the Newsroom alum has been open about the ups and downs of her treatment and recovery—including her complicated feelings about her double mastectomy and subsequent reconstructive surgeries. 

"I cried a week after, because that was the first time I saw my breasts," she said during the June 4 episode of the SheMD podcast, noting she had expanders in at the time—a tool to allow breasts to heal following surgery before the implants are placed. "I was by myself in my bathroom, and I looked at them, and I cried in a way that I don't think I've ever cried in my life. I cried. I was devastated. I just I didn't recognize myself."

The 43-year-old—who shares son Malcolm, 2, with John Mulaney—also explained that because her surgeons had to remove so much of her breast tissue, she would have to go with the larger implant to fill the skin. 

"I didn't want to have big breasts," Olivia said. "You think, 'I'm here.' All I care about is that I'm alive and I'm here for my baby. But putting that to the side, one day people will forget or not know, or maybe I'll never tell people that I had cancer, but they'll look at me and go, 'Oh, what a bad boob job. Oh, look at her.'"

And while she still had the expanders and was looking into the mirror, one of Olivia's concerns was that she "didn't know how" she would be able to dress herself again.

"I thought, 'Oh, there are so many things that I'll never be able to wear,'" she continued. "It just looked like someone took off my breasts and then gave me like, and then took like some tape and paper and Tupperware and were like, 'Here.'"

And while the X-Men: Apocalypse actress noted the result with the implants was "much better," there are still moments she struggles with the results.

"A big reason I grew my hair out was I wanted to be able to hide the scars," she explained of her recovery journey. "I want to hide the size of the implant and feel comfortable like that. And maybe one day I'll get more comfortable with it."

This isn't the first time Olivia has been candid about the difficulties she experienced during her surgeries—which included a including a lymph node dissection and a nipple delay procedure in addition to the double mastectomy. 

Reposting a video of herself and Malcolm playing in a kiddie pool to her Instagram Story in April, Olivia wrote, "This moment was last summer when I had already had three surgeries and recovery—mentally and physically—was pretty rough."

But thankfully, her little one was there to raise her spirits. 

"The smallest, silliest moments like this lifted me up every single time," she continued. "My Malcolm."

And for more of Olivia's sweetest moments with Malcolm and John, keep reading. 

John Mulaney and Olivia Munn celebrated their son Malcolm's second birthday in November 2023.

The parents took Malcolm to the Gem State in June 2023.

Olivia shared this photo of her family of three on Father's Day 2023.

John and Olivia hit the beach with Malcom in March 2023.

The couple rang in theirMalcolm's first birthday in November 2022, with Olivia joking that her mom Kim was getting "impatient" with the cake-cutting.

John celebrated his 40th birthday with Olivia and Malcolm in August 2022.

Olivia snapped a sweet moment between John and their son on stage at Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Colorado in April 2022.

The family of three posed alongside fellow parents Dan Levy and Rachel Specter with their daughter Penny.

Olivia and John celebrated Malcolm turning 4 months old on March 24, 2022.

"Daddy" John cuddled with Malcolm on his 4-month birthdate before heading out to Texas.

The actress shared, "It's been 4 months since the happiest, chillest baby came into my world."

John peered over at his baby boy in this throwback photo from his birth. The comedian wrote in March 2022, "Four months ago I met a 6 lb boy who changed my life forever." 

Olivia captioned this adorable embrace with a teddy bear emoji.

Olivia shared a pic of Malcolm with his grandma a.k.a. the "retired tiger mom." 

Olivia gushed over her baby boy.

Olivia and John introduced Malcolm to friends Henry Golding and Liv Lo Golding, as well as the couple's daughter Lyla, in January 2022. 

John and Henry were seen laughing as they held up their tiny tots.

The friends snapped a selfie while introducing their babies.

As Olivia wrote, "Malcolm met Lyla today."

Olivia and John were pictured arm-in-arm during a sweet moment, seemingly gazing at their little one in January 2022.

"Uncle" Pete Davidson visited Malcolm in January 2022.

John gave his son a kiss on the cheek.

Malcolm fell asleep in dad's carrier during an outing at the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena, Calif.

The Newsroom actress celebrated New Year's Day 2022 with a new pic of Malcolm.

John shared a selfie with his Malcolm, kept cozy in a blue beanie, while they took a walk.

Olivia shared that this was what it looked like "when your friend shows up and surprises you with a blowout even though you're in your robe and not going anywhere."

She said the new 'do made her "feel a little less post partum."