Current:Home > Back'Selling the OC': Tyler Stanaland, Alex Hall and dating while getting divorced-InfoLens
'Selling the OC': Tyler Stanaland, Alex Hall and dating while getting divorced
View Date:2024-12-23 15:29:51
Netflix's "Selling Sunset" spinoff "Selling the OC" saturates its viewers with California sunshine – aka a lot of vitamin D. But in Season 2 (streaming now), that "d" stands for divorce.
A major plot on the new season of Netflix's sexy, sunny real estate reality show is whether it's cool to date when going through a divorce. Tyler Stanaland – real estate agent and actress Brittany Snow's ex – gets his flirt on most of the season with colleague Alex Hall, much to the chagrin of their fellow co-worker Brandi Marshall, who passes judgment on their will-they-won't-they tension.
The drama surrounding dating and divorce is always thorny, experts say. Everyone involved should proceed with caution and be as transparent as possible.
"One of the things that I always tell people who are separated and want to date is to be upfront," says Julie Omole, certified life and relationship coach.
Divorce 'can take a long time to finalize'
The first rule of dating and divorce: Remember that no actual rules exist. No situation is the same. "For many people, the relationship part of their marriage ends long before the legal parts do," says Kimberly Vered Shashoua, a licensed clinical social worker. "It can take a long time to finalize a divorce legally. It’s important to understand the history of your prospective partner’s separation."
A big question to ask before dating amid a divorce or separation: What is your goal?
"Is it to find a new serious relationship? Is it to seek companionship, fun, sex?" says Laura Petiford, a licensed marriage and family therapist. "Individuals must be honest with themselves about their emotional bandwidth to manage the dating life they are seeking while moving through the typically demanding and arduous task of a legal divorce and aftermath."
The same can be said for choosing to date someone going through a separation or divorce. "If one is ready for and seeking a serious relationship with someone who is able to provide time and/or a commitment, understanding that someone who is separated and in the midst of a legal divorce may not be able to provide that is paramount," Petiford says.
'Is it just about paperwork?'
Keep an eye out for blaring red flags, too. "They may be trying to decouple, but it's still an investment of time and energy and thought and all that," Omole says. "And so, as you're dating someone, ask yourself: is this person truly disconnected? Is it just about paperwork? Is it just about running down the clock to when you are allowed to sign divorce papers? What is the investment that they still have with that person?"
Adding children to the mix only complicates matters. "Even though a parent may be ready for dating, kids may not be ready to meet a new partner," Petiford says. "It's critical to be aware of your kids' needs before introducing anyone new to their lives."
Sigh:Joe Jonas, Sophie Turner and when divorce gossip won't quit
'You've not only lost a marriage'
Your dating life is, well, yours, and you shouldn't let anyone make dating decisions for you. That said, loved ones' feelings still may affect you. "While technically the information is owed to no one, considering the place that our loved ones play in our lives and how our choices might impact them is an important aspect of caring appropriately for our important relationships," Petiford says.
No matter how you slice it, divorce is rarely a clean break.
"You’ve not only lost a marriage, but all of the hopes and ideas about your future," Vered Shahoua says. "Some people try to forestall feeling of grief by jumping into a relationship. If you haven’t had time to process these losses, you might not be ready for a new relationship. It’s important to have support from people who understand what you’re going through."
It's also always OK to take a step back before making any choices. As Omole says: "I want people to just take a beat, and to figure out if you are really ready to find a new person or connect with somebody new."
What it's like to divorce a narcissist:One woman's battle with post-separation abuse
veryGood! (8574)
Related
- Sean Diddy Combs' Lawyers File New Motion for Bail, Claiming Evidence Depicts a Consensual Relationship
- The US Supreme Court took away abortion rights. Mexico's high court just did the opposite.
- Slow AF Run Club's Martinus Evans talks falling off a treadmill & running for revenge
- Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders proposes carve-out of Arkansas public records law during tax cut session
- Jimmy Kimmel, more late-night hosts 'shocked' by Trump Cabinet picks: 'Goblins and weirdos'
- American teen Coco Gauff wins US Open women's final for first Grand Slam title
- Phoenix has set another heat record by hitting 110 degrees on 54 days this year
- The Secret to Ozzy Osbourne and Sharon Osbourne's 40-Year Marriage Revealed
- At age 44, Rich Hill's baseball odyssey continues - now with Team USA
- Egypt’s annual inflation hits a new record, reaching 39.7% in August
Ranking
- Ryan Reynolds Makes Dream Come True for 9-Year-Old Fan Battling Cancer
- Trump Organization offloads Bronx golf course to casino company with New York City aspirations
- Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Wrote Letters Supporting Danny Masterson Ahead of Rape Case Sentencing
- Stassi Schroeder Gives Birth, Welcomes Baby No. 2 With Beau Clark
- Police capture Tennessee murder suspect accused of faking his own death on scenic highway
- Special election in western Pennsylvania to determine if Democrats or GOP take control of the House
- Phoenix has set another heat record by hitting 110 degrees on 54 days this year
- 'Brought to tears': Coco Gauff describes the moments after her US Open win
Recommendation
-
New Mexico secretary of state says she’s experiencing harassment after the election
-
Alito rejects Democrats' demands to step aside from upcoming Supreme Court case
-
'He was massive': Mississippi alligator hunters catch 13-foot, 650-pound giant amid storm
-
'The Fraud' asks questions as it unearths stories that need to be told
-
Mark Zuckerberg Records NSFW Song Get Low for Priscilla Chan on Anniversary
-
Why a nonprofit theater company has made sustainability its mission
-
Michigan State U trustees ban people with concealed gun licenses from bringing them to campus
-
Legal fight expected after New Mexico governor suspends the right to carry guns in public